never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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