Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
