Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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