so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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