First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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