you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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