Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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