Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
