How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
