Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
