i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
