Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
