Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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