no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
