nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
