dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
