(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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