you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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