do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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