I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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