Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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