I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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