He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
