You're my little dorito
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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