this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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