Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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