The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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