Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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