jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
