She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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