It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
