Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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