I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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