the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
