So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
