i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
my sisters under your porch take her home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
