It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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