Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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