I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
