Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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