i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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