I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
