Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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