a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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