I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
