i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
