i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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