Is it because I queefed?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
