dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
