Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
