nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
