Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
