So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
