Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
well you can't waste a boner
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
